This opening routine? Could it be choreographed by the amazing Wade Robson? This is like, Tim Burton meets American McGee’s Alice! In other words - rad-iculous!

Wait a minute.. This is sort of boring… Ahh okay, it’s Mia Michaels. At least I got these fabulous screen shots of Mark and wittle puppy dog Gev:

When I saw the last two couples, knowing that one was in danger and the other was safe, I thought I knew exactly what was coming… right?

WRONG. What the hell, America? Why put Kourtni and Matt in the bottom three, instead of Will and Jessica? It was supposed to be Jessica and Chris going home last night. Then Comfort would have been paired with Will. Or Thayne and Jessica go home, and Will picks up Chelsea as his new partner. Jeeez. Now it’s all messed up.

*****

Bottom three girls:

And the loser is…

Sorry about the terrible pun. Just kidding! I’m not sorry at all Chelsea deserved to stick around a bit longer, but the competition on the girl’s side is heating up and there isn’t much chaff left to easily discard. I can’t believe how much the female contestants have distinguished themselves and grown on me as individuals, when they all seemed so annoying and generic at the beginning.

*****

Bottom three guys:

Holy crap, look at the height on that jump! He could blind airplanes up there with his 8000 teeth.

and the loser is…

Basically Thayne and Chris are interchangeably mediocre. One of those two were going home no matter what happened tonight. The only real “loser” in this situation is Comfort, who loses dead-wood-Chris and picks up plastic-smile-Thayne. Maybe she can get him to stop grinning his toothpaste salesman smile and be a little more genuine.

*****

Loser 6-pack: